Yeah Right!!

Well...

Scratch my ass for good luck...

And Damn when i say damn!

I was traveling by train the other day and i made the mistake of timing my need to get there at what is called peak time.

It was peak time alright.

The peak time of madness.

I thought at one point of time in my life that i could jostle for space.

Man i was put to shame.

These people would kill to get on the train if the need arose or even to get out.

What the SH**?! Ow! There went my little toe.

Hey! Is that somebody feelin up my ass!

FU** you and your trunk full of rocks man!!! you just broke my shinbone!

Whoa!! There aint no more place here man! Get the next one! An ant couldnt enter in here.

Eww!! Stop digging your nose right in front of my face dude! You wont find gold no matter how deep you dig.

Hey! Really large mean looking bouncer type guy! Ok i wasnt yelling but please... please... Please get your armpit outta my nose so i can breathe.

No. No! NO! i Dont want you to press up against me to let the other guy go! I'm not for that kinda close proximity!

Whoa! WHOA! Watch It. WATCH IT! WATCH IT!!! Thonk! There goes my Cranium... Or at least the front of it... I've got this bump on my forehead now that seems like i'm gonna sprout a single horn where a bare flat piece of skin stretched out to form my forehead!

What? What is that? Hey that's my pocket! Not a waste-basket! If there's enough place for you in here to peel and eat oranges, there's enough place for you to throw the rind out the window at least!

Damn! Wrong time to answer the phone! I should've got my hands-free... Hello. I cant hear you. There's this noise from a bunch of guys doing some kinda chanting and banging and singing. I'll call you back!

Ok now what? No i dont believe in your God enough to want to give you money to create such a ruckus! Heck i dont believe in my God enough to want to go visit His house.

No I dont want to buy a pen! And i dont want coloring books for my non-existent children either! How did you get in here anyway! And stop poking that cane in my eyes!

And if you can maneuver though this jungle of human bodies you can find a way of stashing your bag. What if you got a country made one in there? I got enough worries of my own.

Woman! Dont give me that look like i voilated you! You should know better than to travel in the general can of sardines! That's why they have a special can of sardines for you to travel in! And your stop is a half hour away! What?! Are you suicidal?!

Damn! There goes my phone again! FU** it! Let it buzz.

Hey! You're not gonna be able to answer your phone in here either! Do you have to figure out which ringtone best suits this environment right now?!

Get a pair of headphones for that crap you're playing! You might as well carry a jukebox fastened round your neck! I'd like to listen to something of my choice too.

Hey! Were you sleeping in this mess? You didnt know you wanted to get off here? Stop shoving and wait for the next stop now! Hey! Hey!! Its not that important. Dont kill yourself!

Stop drooling on my shoulder man! Hey! That's not your pillow!
Hey! This is not my stop!

I dont want to get off here! Wait! WAIT!

I'm hanging on for dear life!

Whooooooa!

WOW! That felt like i was superman! I was flying! But hey! I can breathe again!

I dont give a shit! Barring a toe smashed to a pulp and a horn where there shouldnt be one, i'm alive! i'll figure out another way to get there!

So what if my clothes are like they just came out of the washing machine?

So what if i'm missing one shoe and my knuckles feel numb from holding on too tight, i'm alive! i'll figure out another way to get there!

On Train Travel